Do you know what is the least thing that a human does simply because he cannot bear it or more precisely he cannot manage to do it?

     The answer to this question is “to confront, to face himself”.

     However, being able to confront oneself on a large scale is to be able to deal with most of the things one has been through in life openly, objectively and in a neutral manner. Moreover, it is necessary for him to see the mistakes he has made and most important of all he should  be able to accept them. Furthermore, he should  be able to confess with all his heart, with utmost sincerity  that “the reasons for these mistakes are due to his negligence or  his fears (due to being a coward).’’

     This confrontation has to be made so sincerely and frankly that the person whom he has confronted should feel satisfied. So that he who has faced either himself  or  the person to whom he has done wrong should feel relieved.

     By means of such type of a behaviour and approach, the person sets himself free from “the interference that has occupied his memory and mind” for a long time, and his life suddenly becomes clear and serene.

     Nevertheless, this act may also bring along some unexpected, shocking and painful trauma.

     No matter what the end result is  this period of transformation provides one to be secure during the course of life.

     Even so, it is necessary to overcome this difficult situation. A person does not want to see “his own failure and insufficiency” in the events that  he has caused.

     He is always right. He can come up with hundreds of reasons to justify himself (his argument).

     He reflects his faults on an object and observes his inabilities there. As in the example of Allah observing on his servants the blessings  that he has given to them, in a similar way it is the product of  the ego  to find the remains of his humanly aspect (based on the physical body and the five senses) in  someone else.

     In Sufism this matter is explained as “it is the requirement of the dimension that forms the existence”.

     The reason is, his existence has been formed from the light (the energy) (nur) of Rubibiyah (the Lordship), and therefore the soul coming from this state never finds itself in any restriction.

     A human being senses intuitively that he is wrong, however cannot openly put it into words. He cannot manage it, because his mind  is always fixed on  the worldly values. The reason why he cannot accept that he is wrong is the lack of self confidence.

     At this level, we are describing the natural state of the conscious being who is also called as a mental-social animal and who lives his life in accordance with the result of  the composition  of Asma (the Divine Names) that he has.

     This situation is observed more frequently in those who don’t have metamorphic structures (who don’t change). The ones who are at the level of  “nafs of ammarah” cannot even be aware of this level (that has been stated above).

     Those who don’t renew themselves cannot progress technically too, because every transformation involves the point we have mentioned above. At the basis of renewal  there is the exchange of information.

     If, you have to live  with fixed thoughts, it means that you cannot change (become more different), because the human mind doesn’t understand  for the spirituality. It cannot be said that such a person has a grasp of “ the tiny, delicate details of  faith”.

     Whoever uses only his wisdom to go on his path can be confused.  Therefore, Islam invites everyone to be a believer and to renew his faith.

     Analyze a person, look at his position in terms of belief and surrender, and then decide afterwards (about where he stands). However, this decision has to be  based on an objective perception rather than the expected decision based on good intentions.

     We have said that countless people cannot even share their guilt even with their own selves yet along with somebody else.

     There are numerous reasons for that. First of all, a person’s “ego” doesn’t let this happen.

     If he makes the confrontation “he will be embarrassed and ashamed in front of the person to whom he has done wrong”, moreover he would have been defeated by him. That means his honour will be threatened, so it would be a miracle to see him making the attempt to confront, since such an attempt will block  his personality.

     If, the individual “has made enormous mistakes”, he hides them. Nevertheless, the system works in such an order that his memory keeps reminding all these to him.

Besides, the energy that he doesn’t feel where it is coming from reaches him externally and this energy constantly “makes him confused” .

     The reason is, the system works in both ways, namely, inwards and outwards.

     During the process of confronting oneself, the people who are close are a great help for the person.

     Moreover, during the times of depression, he needs to remember the factor of love. The following saying of Goethe will illuminate the people: “Love is the only climate  in which mankind can evolve…”

     It will be inevitable to start living according to the associations and the meaning of this expression.

     As a matter of fact, “the people to whom our faults and mistakes in our behaviour are reflected  are mostly our spouses, our children, our parents or our close friends.”

     After all, the way they keep distant from us, their reproaches, criticisms, sudden reactions indicate  where we are.

     Both  “the blood ties” and  being very close  speed up the act of confrontation.

     However, the most important confrontation is made with “those who seem to be contrary to us, who seem to be against us, who seem to be like enemies”. In this type of confrontation, we have to confess quite clearly that we are wrong.

     Otherwise a person only deceives himself.

     Afterwards, as if he has done everything right, by using the words of  the Saints he tries to make himself accepted as a possessor of  the saintly  life and he tries to make a show off to the people around. This behaviour is the ultimate reason for almost his destruction, his end, his corruption so to say.

     If, the person who is in the position of confronting, doesn’t make it with the Observation of Existence (with the observation of Oneness, without involving his feelings and individuality) this attempt will be a “fake” one.

     He cannot reach his goal. After a while, his nature and character take over, this time he goes back and “talks behind  the person whom he has confronted in a critical way”.

     The reasonable thing to do is not to start this process “if the person hasn’t purified his consciousness”.

     Otherwise, more stressful and depressive days are ahead of him.

     If we need to rephrase it clearly, this manner disappoints the person.

     I think it would be a correct evaluation to say “depending on the character of the individual problems arise during the act of  confrontation”. This becomes clear by the individual’s approach towards the other person he either places importance  for the other person or he does not.

     However, we have to admit  that those who face one another, who confront others generally share and breathe the same air.